Whoa. Look at those pins. UNbelievable. Imagine the long string of misogynistic pick up lines I could string together in the comfort of my bedroom that she'd never read! IMAGINE the vast array of sexual references I could make about those legs in the comfort of my bedroom that she'd never read! IMAGINE the possibilities!!!!
Amazing, absolutely stunning legs. Wow.
One of the highlights of the game, in my opinion, was the live shot of her in her yellow hoody (or, as my Rider and Pilsner-loving friends in Saskatchewan would say, "bunny hug"...just gotta hold on to your originality, eh Saskquatches? That's all you have. Riders, 'Sner and a stupid term for a hooded sweatshirt.). She's a babe, there's no question about that. Lucky man, Mikey Fisher.
But NOT lucky enough to win tonight!!! I mean, I feel like thats all this series is gonna come down to. Just luck. Nashville might get lucky enough to sit on 3 one-goal leads, and Vancouver might get lucky enough to hold on to 2 more 1 goal leads. Or one team will be lucky enough to squeak out an overtime victory, where really anything in possible.
Now, I recently said that I don't believe in luck, so I have to defend myself. I still don't believe in luck. By "luck" I suppose I meant that Nashville might impose their game on Vancouver and come out on top. Or vice versa for Vancouver. So far, Nashville has done a better job imposing their game on Vancouver. If Vancouver was winning that battle, they'd have WAY more goals, Daniels and Henrik would be scoring up a storm, and Ryan Kesler would, too. Oh. Wait. Kesler's on the board now. Watch out, world. Get him on a hot streak, I fuckin dare ya.
Tough way for Nashville to lose, on a powerplay, that really could've been a Kesler penalty for holding the stick. But, like they said on TV, that was a makeup call for that hit Bieksa took. What is with this shit on the ice? All these deliberate hits from behind?! I like to think that it's just the speed of the game combined with the emotion of potentially getting one step closer to the cup if you win a battle in the corner. But man oh man, I've said it before, someone is gonna get killed. we're all gonna see it. it's gonna be such a sad day.
If someone hurts Kevin Bieksa, I will not be a happy camper. He's been the most consistent D-man for the Canucks, and played with a bigger sack than the whole team most games (with the exception of Kesler in game 7. That was inhuman). Bieksallent is still in my good books, even though he made the stupidest pass of the playoffs and almost cost us dearly in the late stages of the game.
Can't believe Samuelsson got as much ice as he did. Play him less. He's ineffective and any player on the team could've shot that puck on net in overtime. He's slow and lazy. Oreskovich, please! At least he's big and hits people out there. He's got a dimension to his game.
Where's the scoring from the back end? I wanna see a D man get a goal from a big bomb from the point next game. Preferably Ehrhoff. He's looked shakey defensively, so he may as well make up for it with his one asset: his cannon.
Not sure why Ballard was out for Alberts? Simply more size? Idunno.
Shane O' Brien has twitter now. Follow him and make fun of him for being exploited on the game winning goal. Actually, don't. I still like that guy.
Washington got shafted tonight. Ovechkin should've gotten that penalty shot. Terrible non-call. They'll win game 4. They won't be embarrassed like that. Ovie won't allow it.
Listen to "The Dudes". They rock. Seriously, Love that band.
Sleep well, people.
xosmlxo
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Monday, 2 May 2011
24 Hours to remember.
Whats up girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers-on-the-side, teammates, canadians, americans, lovers?
I finished typing my blog last night, feeling pretty alright for a Sunday night. Just in the peace and quiet of my own room. I turned on CBC to wind down for the remainder of the night, and, well, I did quite the opposite. I witnessed history, as you did, last night. The manhunt for Osama Bin Laden is over! Amazing when you think back to when the manhunt started. I was in my first month of highschool (yes, I was on time too. I'm not a fucking failure.). It's been a long time hunting around in the deserts for that guy. What the hell will Saturday Night Live use for material next year?
I feel the need to share with you how I felt when I found out about the slaying of Bin Laden. It's a bit embarrassing. I felt kind of sad, at first. Believe it or not. I think my mind traveled to all the brave people that fought out in Afghanistan (and apparently Pakistan, too?), who died, or got their bodies and minds scarred forever to just chase down one tall dude with a beard. War is a pretty stupid thing to get yourself into nowadays. I think it's outdated. Shouldn't happen.
Then, I watched the Obama speech, which was just about as badass as you can get. People have been attacking the President for being a wimp for the last little while, and for not doing much for his country. Doubt they'll do that anymore. Dude meant fucking BUSINESS when he was spittin' that flow. I was proud of him, and a bit inspired by his presence last night. Mr. W. Bush started a big fucking mess, and Barack's gonna clean it up. That's what the mentality was when he was elected, and I think that's what he's gonna do.
THEN I started to get really riled up about the killing. I thought to myself, "Am I really glad that a man got killed?" And you know what? fucking rights, I am. I hope fish are eating that piece of shit's remains at the bottom of an ocean somewhere. I was fucking scared shitless when him and his comrades drove their planes into the World Trade Centre. I was 14 years old, horomonal as fuck, and had no idea what to think. I thought I was going to have to go to war and fight for reasons that I didn't understand. I thought my friends were going to die. I thought relatives were going to die. I thought about having my arms blown off. I thought the whole world was coming to an end. I thought many things, but all of them were thoughts that were based out of spine-tingling adolescent fear. and all this only happened in a neighbouring country. I can't imagine the fear that ran through America's bones that day.
While I don't want people in this world to die, sometimes, when you fuck up badly enough...when you piss enough people off...when you scare the daylights out of enough people...when YOU YOURSELF KILL enough fucking people for no reason other than your own twisted beliefs...then ya. Kick the bucket. Buy the farm. Cash in your chips. Kiss my ass. Die, and die slow, motherfucker.
I also think that my reaction to this is normal, but there's a better way that we can all strive for. I'm human, and my thoughts and feelings are irrational. But we can learn from our mistakes, from others mistakes. From others atrocities. From our own atrocities, as I'm sure (in fact, I KNOW) that the "good guys" in this decade-long war have committing some disgusting acts. Here's a little quote for you, by someone who had it figured out.
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
-Martin Luther King Jr.
He had it right all along.
Election day!!!! Did y'all vote? I hope so. I hope I pressured you and belittled you into feeling like such a piece of shit that you did for once. I hope, if you didn't, you think you're a rebel and that that's cool. I think you're a fucking idiot, and so does everyone else with a brain inside their skull. You're not cool.
I just wanna say one quick thing about the federal election here in Canada today. Yes, the Conservatives won a majority government, which basically means that if they want to pass a bill, they can because they'll have enough votes. I'm sure there are many of you out there are pissed off about this (I am), but I also think that it's important to take a positive out of anything. There's a new official opposition party, the New Democrats! They cleaned up! In the final corner of the race, they really turned it on. And you know what I've been hearing all over the news this evening? Do you know what experts are saying that one of the main reasons that the NDP has shocked the country and done so well? It's because they made their campaign around "change" and "positivity". Maybe we're learning something, Canada! Sure, the Conservatives only got more power tonight. But a change was made. based on positivity. Maybe we're growing more and more tired of hating. Maybe that is soooo 2010, and this decade is different. Here's hoping!
Like a good Canadian boy, I flicked between election results shows (not for American Idol...is that show still on, even?) and the hockey game. And as entertaining as the news was, the hockey game was no slouch, either! Tonnes of action! Tonnes of monster hits! Pierre Mcguire was jacked the fuck up for this game, boy! Just going bananas and screaming out where players played their junior hockey all over the place!
I think the story of the game is pretty obvious. James van Riemsdyk took the title from Pavel Datsyuk for "Best playoff performance by a forward of 2011". Fucking unbelievable. I couldn't help but laugh at how dominant he was. Me and Pierre both were just losing our shit, me privately and him in front of a bunch of people that hate his fucking guts (I, for one, dig Pierre Mcguire and think he's knowledgeable and entertaining. Annoying sometimes, but hey, he's not perfect.). Shit! they didn't even win! Pretty amazing when you're the story in a losing effort. as a skater. usually only happens with a goalie who's team forgets to play in front of him. I don't think that series is over, yet...
Question, when you think of who the best team is in the playoffs right now, who comes to mind? for me, I can't believe I'm saying this, it's Tampa Bay. Amazing.
Hope you all voted, and I hope you all make sweet sweet love tonight.
xosmlxo
I finished typing my blog last night, feeling pretty alright for a Sunday night. Just in the peace and quiet of my own room. I turned on CBC to wind down for the remainder of the night, and, well, I did quite the opposite. I witnessed history, as you did, last night. The manhunt for Osama Bin Laden is over! Amazing when you think back to when the manhunt started. I was in my first month of highschool (yes, I was on time too. I'm not a fucking failure.). It's been a long time hunting around in the deserts for that guy. What the hell will Saturday Night Live use for material next year?
I feel the need to share with you how I felt when I found out about the slaying of Bin Laden. It's a bit embarrassing. I felt kind of sad, at first. Believe it or not. I think my mind traveled to all the brave people that fought out in Afghanistan (and apparently Pakistan, too?), who died, or got their bodies and minds scarred forever to just chase down one tall dude with a beard. War is a pretty stupid thing to get yourself into nowadays. I think it's outdated. Shouldn't happen.
Then, I watched the Obama speech, which was just about as badass as you can get. People have been attacking the President for being a wimp for the last little while, and for not doing much for his country. Doubt they'll do that anymore. Dude meant fucking BUSINESS when he was spittin' that flow. I was proud of him, and a bit inspired by his presence last night. Mr. W. Bush started a big fucking mess, and Barack's gonna clean it up. That's what the mentality was when he was elected, and I think that's what he's gonna do.
THEN I started to get really riled up about the killing. I thought to myself, "Am I really glad that a man got killed?" And you know what? fucking rights, I am. I hope fish are eating that piece of shit's remains at the bottom of an ocean somewhere. I was fucking scared shitless when him and his comrades drove their planes into the World Trade Centre. I was 14 years old, horomonal as fuck, and had no idea what to think. I thought I was going to have to go to war and fight for reasons that I didn't understand. I thought my friends were going to die. I thought relatives were going to die. I thought about having my arms blown off. I thought the whole world was coming to an end. I thought many things, but all of them were thoughts that were based out of spine-tingling adolescent fear. and all this only happened in a neighbouring country. I can't imagine the fear that ran through America's bones that day.
While I don't want people in this world to die, sometimes, when you fuck up badly enough...when you piss enough people off...when you scare the daylights out of enough people...when YOU YOURSELF KILL enough fucking people for no reason other than your own twisted beliefs...then ya. Kick the bucket. Buy the farm. Cash in your chips. Kiss my ass. Die, and die slow, motherfucker.
I also think that my reaction to this is normal, but there's a better way that we can all strive for. I'm human, and my thoughts and feelings are irrational. But we can learn from our mistakes, from others mistakes. From others atrocities. From our own atrocities, as I'm sure (in fact, I KNOW) that the "good guys" in this decade-long war have committing some disgusting acts. Here's a little quote for you, by someone who had it figured out.
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
-Martin Luther King Jr.
He had it right all along.
Election day!!!! Did y'all vote? I hope so. I hope I pressured you and belittled you into feeling like such a piece of shit that you did for once. I hope, if you didn't, you think you're a rebel and that that's cool. I think you're a fucking idiot, and so does everyone else with a brain inside their skull. You're not cool.
I just wanna say one quick thing about the federal election here in Canada today. Yes, the Conservatives won a majority government, which basically means that if they want to pass a bill, they can because they'll have enough votes. I'm sure there are many of you out there are pissed off about this (I am), but I also think that it's important to take a positive out of anything. There's a new official opposition party, the New Democrats! They cleaned up! In the final corner of the race, they really turned it on. And you know what I've been hearing all over the news this evening? Do you know what experts are saying that one of the main reasons that the NDP has shocked the country and done so well? It's because they made their campaign around "change" and "positivity". Maybe we're learning something, Canada! Sure, the Conservatives only got more power tonight. But a change was made. based on positivity. Maybe we're growing more and more tired of hating. Maybe that is soooo 2010, and this decade is different. Here's hoping!
Like a good Canadian boy, I flicked between election results shows (not for American Idol...is that show still on, even?) and the hockey game. And as entertaining as the news was, the hockey game was no slouch, either! Tonnes of action! Tonnes of monster hits! Pierre Mcguire was jacked the fuck up for this game, boy! Just going bananas and screaming out where players played their junior hockey all over the place!
I think the story of the game is pretty obvious. James van Riemsdyk took the title from Pavel Datsyuk for "Best playoff performance by a forward of 2011". Fucking unbelievable. I couldn't help but laugh at how dominant he was. Me and Pierre both were just losing our shit, me privately and him in front of a bunch of people that hate his fucking guts (I, for one, dig Pierre Mcguire and think he's knowledgeable and entertaining. Annoying sometimes, but hey, he's not perfect.). Shit! they didn't even win! Pretty amazing when you're the story in a losing effort. as a skater. usually only happens with a goalie who's team forgets to play in front of him. I don't think that series is over, yet...
Question, when you think of who the best team is in the playoffs right now, who comes to mind? for me, I can't believe I'm saying this, it's Tampa Bay. Amazing.
Hope you all voted, and I hope you all make sweet sweet love tonight.
xosmlxo
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Sunday Morning Coming Down
"And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert."
It's a line from an old Johnny Cash song, with the same name as the title for today's blog! Excellent song, JC.
Let me first just say that I did not indulge in any alcoholic beverages last night, as I don't do that sort of thing anymore, and haven't for almost half a year (I know. Difficult to believe, right?) But I did get to thinking last night, as most people do, and I thought to myself, "what would this year's playoffs be like if I was still on the bottle?" Flashes came to my imagination very quickly, and let me tell you, those flashes were not pretty like fireworks on English Bay, they were more like flashes of military gunfire. The stress of a long Canucks game is hard enough on my overall psyche: the buildup leading up to it, the game itself, the seemingly infinite breaks in between periods, and the result (especially a loss). I am very thankful to not have a bunch of booze mixed into the picture, as I'm sure there'd be some broken fists, broken walls, missed days of work, banishments from local establishments and questionable people waking up in my apartment to add to the whirlwind my life goes through when my team is in the thick of the playoffs. Similar for you? Probably not. You're not unique and tortured and too passionate and obsessive and special like me. NO ONE CAN RELATE TO ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW! MY LIFE IS HARDER THAN YOURS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE SEEN IN MY 25 YEARS?!!?
obvious sarcasm aside, I was feeling pretty down last night after the Canucks loss, and while writing my blog, so I decided to watch a movie at midnight. I chose "Rabbit Hole" starring Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart. It was a lovely experience to go through, I gotta say. I hear Ms. Kidman always getting flack all the time for how "plastic" she looks, well lemme just say something about that. Ya, the woman is almost TOO aesthetically perfect (if that's possible), and I understand that thats threatening to most people. It is to me sometimes, too. Beauty is hard to look at sometimes, when it appears to come without flaws. But maybe that's flawed in itself? maybe her perfect looking face and body is a flaw for her. I would imagine that it is. It'd be a heavy burden to carry. Physical beauty is a tough thing for the people living inside of it to deal with. Pressure is put on all of us, for our insides to match the picture that we're painted as. And I'm not just backing up Nicole Kidman here or anything, I just find it interesting that people hate on all the "beautiful people" in the world sometimes, because despite the fact that she is breathtaking to look at on a red carpet, her acting (in this movie anyway) was also breathtaking. It was a part of her heart and her soul that I got to see last night, a pretty dark part, and that was more beautiful than any shot of her in a powersuit with her hair in a bun, or her running on a treadmill. Sexy. Sexy soul.
Aaron Eckhart was really strong, too. Damn, was he pissed off in a couple of those scenes!A worthy partner to Nicole Kidman in that movie, and I've never seen him that good in anything. Must've been a real treat to work on that role, and the bastard broke my friggin heart in a couple scenes. Ya Aaron, keep hugging that dog...I'M ALL ALONE HERE WATCHING THIS, YOU KNOW?!
I was amazed after watching the movie just how powerful film can be. or just acting in general. Amazing how a glimpse of art or real humanity can take you from one place to another. Can wake a guy up out of an obsession of Canucks Canucks Canucks, and just sort of make everything a bit clearer. Wasn't the greatest movie of all time or anything, just a really nice change from all the middle aged Canadian ex-hockey players screaming on a TV screen. Good to switch things up.
HOWEVER!
There were still 2 hockey games today, that I managed to watch in the midst of doing hours and hours of household chores (part hockeynut, part domesticated man).
What up with the Motor City Maniacs? Year in, year out they're the class of the NHL. So what's with all the penalties, and CARELESS penalties too. It just seems strange to me, like maybe they're not the big powerhouse I thought they were. I thought, if anyone's gonna take the west other than the Canucks, it's gotta be the Wings. I'm starting to doubt that now. Undisciplined, unable to beat Anti Niemi, and just not playing very well in this series. Maybe the magical core they have there really is getting too old for this? Idunno.
Nice to see Ian White score today. KABLAMO! he ripped that puck. Good Manitoba Boy, from Steinbach, MB. Did you know, that you can't buy booze in Steinbach? Nope. Ya can't. However, there is, conveniently, a nice little offsale place about a stone's throw from the city limit. I bet they get a lot of business.
And in the East, TAMPA!?!?! Wow....up 2 on the Capitals, and going home to Florida. This muthafucka could be done in 4 here!! Does Budreau get fired if they lose in 4. I think so. I'd fire Nick Backstrom before I did anything. Honestly, even before Kelly Hrudey pointed it out today, I was watching him to see if he looked injured or something, but he doesn't!! He just looks uninterested and lazy. Guess who should've had Lecavalier on the overtime winner? Yup, number 19 Nick Backstrom. gliding into the slot, no effort to pick up his man. I'm pretty sure that boy has a hefty contract too....Yikes. That was a mistake, Mr. George Mcphee. Biggest disappointment in the playoffs so far. Between him and Henrik Sedin. Wonder if one of them will decide that it's on them to put the puck in the net? That's such a joke when he's got guys like Laich, Chimera, and Ovechkin playing their asses off every shift, and he's just loafing it out there. What a bum. I'd never have him on one of my teams.
Is there a more likeable player in the league that Marty St. Louis? I don't think so. I just love the guy. He's smaller than everyone on the ice, but he's tenacious as fuck out there, but he goes about it the right way, and he does it with a touch of class. but not pussyish class, with hockey class. A little fire, but clean all the way. I'll cheer for that little frenchman any day of the week. And that 3rd line too. Best line in the playoffs right now. Unbelievable how that happens almost every year. Random line combinations come out of nowhere to produce points. Bergenheim, Downie and Moore have been just awesome for them. Canucks third line has been good too. San jose's, same thing. Gotta love those "lunchpail" players.
That's all for now. A little early today.
Tomorrow is May 2: what does that mean, people!!???VOTE V-O-T-E. I literally will have no respect for you if you don't vote, tomorrow. Skip work if you have to. If you don't vote, just flat out don't speak til the next election because I won't find anything you say relevant. And if you do work up the gumption to speak to me, always know that a little part of me is laughing my ass off at you for how stupid I think you are. when you are in the middle of telling me about your horrific break up, or your grandmothers long battle with Lupus, part of me will be laughing at you because you could've had a say in health care or tax breaks for commonlaw partners. If you need a shoulder to cry on, go ahead, use mine..if you vote tomorrow. If not, kiss my ass. Idiots.
For those that are voting!!!!, good on ya. especially if you're a first time voter. Way to go, you'll seriously feel good afterwards, even if your vote didn't get into parliament. You'll still feel like you did something. Seriously. Fucking Paris Hilton votes, and she's dump-as-a-stump. You should, too.
xosmlxo
It's a line from an old Johnny Cash song, with the same name as the title for today's blog! Excellent song, JC.
Let me first just say that I did not indulge in any alcoholic beverages last night, as I don't do that sort of thing anymore, and haven't for almost half a year (I know. Difficult to believe, right?) But I did get to thinking last night, as most people do, and I thought to myself, "what would this year's playoffs be like if I was still on the bottle?" Flashes came to my imagination very quickly, and let me tell you, those flashes were not pretty like fireworks on English Bay, they were more like flashes of military gunfire. The stress of a long Canucks game is hard enough on my overall psyche: the buildup leading up to it, the game itself, the seemingly infinite breaks in between periods, and the result (especially a loss). I am very thankful to not have a bunch of booze mixed into the picture, as I'm sure there'd be some broken fists, broken walls, missed days of work, banishments from local establishments and questionable people waking up in my apartment to add to the whirlwind my life goes through when my team is in the thick of the playoffs. Similar for you? Probably not. You're not unique and tortured and too passionate and obsessive and special like me. NO ONE CAN RELATE TO ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW! MY LIFE IS HARDER THAN YOURS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE SEEN IN MY 25 YEARS?!!?
obvious sarcasm aside, I was feeling pretty down last night after the Canucks loss, and while writing my blog, so I decided to watch a movie at midnight. I chose "Rabbit Hole" starring Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart. It was a lovely experience to go through, I gotta say. I hear Ms. Kidman always getting flack all the time for how "plastic" she looks, well lemme just say something about that. Ya, the woman is almost TOO aesthetically perfect (if that's possible), and I understand that thats threatening to most people. It is to me sometimes, too. Beauty is hard to look at sometimes, when it appears to come without flaws. But maybe that's flawed in itself? maybe her perfect looking face and body is a flaw for her. I would imagine that it is. It'd be a heavy burden to carry. Physical beauty is a tough thing for the people living inside of it to deal with. Pressure is put on all of us, for our insides to match the picture that we're painted as. And I'm not just backing up Nicole Kidman here or anything, I just find it interesting that people hate on all the "beautiful people" in the world sometimes, because despite the fact that she is breathtaking to look at on a red carpet, her acting (in this movie anyway) was also breathtaking. It was a part of her heart and her soul that I got to see last night, a pretty dark part, and that was more beautiful than any shot of her in a powersuit with her hair in a bun, or her running on a treadmill. Sexy. Sexy soul.
Aaron Eckhart was really strong, too. Damn, was he pissed off in a couple of those scenes!A worthy partner to Nicole Kidman in that movie, and I've never seen him that good in anything. Must've been a real treat to work on that role, and the bastard broke my friggin heart in a couple scenes. Ya Aaron, keep hugging that dog...I'M ALL ALONE HERE WATCHING THIS, YOU KNOW?!
I was amazed after watching the movie just how powerful film can be. or just acting in general. Amazing how a glimpse of art or real humanity can take you from one place to another. Can wake a guy up out of an obsession of Canucks Canucks Canucks, and just sort of make everything a bit clearer. Wasn't the greatest movie of all time or anything, just a really nice change from all the middle aged Canadian ex-hockey players screaming on a TV screen. Good to switch things up.
HOWEVER!
There were still 2 hockey games today, that I managed to watch in the midst of doing hours and hours of household chores (part hockeynut, part domesticated man).
What up with the Motor City Maniacs? Year in, year out they're the class of the NHL. So what's with all the penalties, and CARELESS penalties too. It just seems strange to me, like maybe they're not the big powerhouse I thought they were. I thought, if anyone's gonna take the west other than the Canucks, it's gotta be the Wings. I'm starting to doubt that now. Undisciplined, unable to beat Anti Niemi, and just not playing very well in this series. Maybe the magical core they have there really is getting too old for this? Idunno.
Nice to see Ian White score today. KABLAMO! he ripped that puck. Good Manitoba Boy, from Steinbach, MB. Did you know, that you can't buy booze in Steinbach? Nope. Ya can't. However, there is, conveniently, a nice little offsale place about a stone's throw from the city limit. I bet they get a lot of business.
And in the East, TAMPA!?!?! Wow....up 2 on the Capitals, and going home to Florida. This muthafucka could be done in 4 here!! Does Budreau get fired if they lose in 4. I think so. I'd fire Nick Backstrom before I did anything. Honestly, even before Kelly Hrudey pointed it out today, I was watching him to see if he looked injured or something, but he doesn't!! He just looks uninterested and lazy. Guess who should've had Lecavalier on the overtime winner? Yup, number 19 Nick Backstrom. gliding into the slot, no effort to pick up his man. I'm pretty sure that boy has a hefty contract too....Yikes. That was a mistake, Mr. George Mcphee. Biggest disappointment in the playoffs so far. Between him and Henrik Sedin. Wonder if one of them will decide that it's on them to put the puck in the net? That's such a joke when he's got guys like Laich, Chimera, and Ovechkin playing their asses off every shift, and he's just loafing it out there. What a bum. I'd never have him on one of my teams.
Is there a more likeable player in the league that Marty St. Louis? I don't think so. I just love the guy. He's smaller than everyone on the ice, but he's tenacious as fuck out there, but he goes about it the right way, and he does it with a touch of class. but not pussyish class, with hockey class. A little fire, but clean all the way. I'll cheer for that little frenchman any day of the week. And that 3rd line too. Best line in the playoffs right now. Unbelievable how that happens almost every year. Random line combinations come out of nowhere to produce points. Bergenheim, Downie and Moore have been just awesome for them. Canucks third line has been good too. San jose's, same thing. Gotta love those "lunchpail" players.
That's all for now. A little early today.
Tomorrow is May 2: what does that mean, people!!???VOTE V-O-T-E. I literally will have no respect for you if you don't vote, tomorrow. Skip work if you have to. If you don't vote, just flat out don't speak til the next election because I won't find anything you say relevant. And if you do work up the gumption to speak to me, always know that a little part of me is laughing my ass off at you for how stupid I think you are. when you are in the middle of telling me about your horrific break up, or your grandmothers long battle with Lupus, part of me will be laughing at you because you could've had a say in health care or tax breaks for commonlaw partners. If you need a shoulder to cry on, go ahead, use mine..if you vote tomorrow. If not, kiss my ass. Idiots.
For those that are voting!!!!, good on ya. especially if you're a first time voter. Way to go, you'll seriously feel good afterwards, even if your vote didn't get into parliament. You'll still feel like you did something. Seriously. Fucking Paris Hilton votes, and she's dump-as-a-stump. You should, too.
xosmlxo
Saturday, 30 April 2011
someone find him, please...
Okay, Leyzertons and Leyzerites,
You look for Waldo, while I fly down to San Jose and find Ben Ferriero so that he can put a puck past a goalie in overtime for us. Who the fuck is that guy, anyways? I heard Chris Cuthbert's jagged bottom row of teeth say his name last night maybe twice, and all of a sudden he's a hero. ON HIS BIRTHDAY?! wow, good night for him. I'm a bit surprised that the coach put him on in overtime...musta hadda hunch.
The good news for the Flyers is that none of the goals scored today were really Boucher's fault before he got yanked (again), so at least maybe he'll play good in game 2. They just flat out stunk today. It was sickening, mostly because I just hate seeing Boston do anything good on a day-to-day basis. Bastards. Also good news for Flyers fans: it was only game 1, and we all remember what happened last year. The Canucks almost pulled a "boston" this year. So go ahead, Philly. Lose the next 2. Rest up, and just put Roman Checkmanek in the pipes. Give Reg Leach a bottle of rye and put him out as your starting centre. Let Bob Clarke play with 8 fingers. You'll be fine. Just start the regular lineup in game 4, make sure Claude Giroux scores a timely goal, and let history repeat itself. It's just that easy for y'all.
If I could find a similarity in the game between the Canucks and Predators (boooooo fuck you Nashville), and in the game between the Capitals and Lightning it was this: that one team had the upperhand for most of the game, until a shitty flukey goal turned the tides and swung in favour of a lesser team. I don't think Washington will have that difficult of a time stepping up in game 2 and taking it. And I kind of hope that they do win badly, so that I can hear more audio of Lightning head coach Guy Boucher. Dude is HILARIOUS! And smart, too. Deliberately saying that his team is underdogs, which a smirk hidden behind a dead serious face and a dead serious scar on his cheek (how can I get me one of those?). It's probably pissing Bruce Budreau right off, not that that's a monumental feat or anything.
Okay, the quick blurbs on the other series are over, now time to talk Canucks. Yay! Another relatively boring game! woooo! at least we had overtime to liven us up tonight, eh? Even if the play is overtime is congested and boring, the fact that it's overtime makes our boners perk up a bit, doesn't it people? So, the critics were right, and Nashville did play better today (obviously, they won...), but I didn't think they played WAY better. I thought it was more a case of the Canucks not being able to bury their numerous chances, personally. ya, Pekkerhead Rinne made some beautiful saves, and some solid positional ones too, but really. I think you're all thinking what I'm thinking.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU DANIELS AND HENRIK SEDIN! I'm officially tired of this, or, as Youtube Sensation "Tourette's Guy" puts it, "I'M SICK N TIRED OF THIS CHICKEN SHIT BULLSHIT!" Seriously, when's it gonna end?!? I realize that they are most effective in the cycle game, and they're masters of getting good body position along the boards, and masters of threading the needle for jaw dropping passes. And they've been doing that here and there in the playoffs. But, again, stats don't lie. Henrik lead the league in points last year, and his brother did this year, therefore, by using simple logic, they should lead the playoffs in scoring. right? That's what's expected of them, in my eyes. I expect them to get a few points a night, because that's what happens almost everytime they play. Hasn't happened in the playoffs. I've heard all the excuses, that they're hurt, that they're weak on the puck (true), that they lack tenacity (true), that they aren't good defensively (true), but not I'm just tired of hearing the damn excuses. Time to sack up, Twins. You don't wanna fucking lose to Nashville, do you?
Sad thing is, it's very much a possibility now. By not capitalizing on their chances (GO TOP CHEDS WHEN THE GOALIE IS HAVING A SEIZURE ON HIS BACK!!!), they've let a less talented team back in the series. Let them back in so they can sneak 3 more goals behind our excellent goalie (ya, that was his fault on the first one, but physical mistakes happen sometimes) and they could squeak out 3 more wins. Just get that first one Joel Ward, Matt Halischuk, Steve Sullivan or any other no-name foot soldier, that you could very well punch your ticket to the conference final, and we in Vancouver can...idunno, don't even want to think about it.
Fuck it, while I'm at it, enough of praising Ryan Kesler for how hard he checks. I heard Ray Ferraro say on the radio during the Chicago series, while speaking about Johnathan Toews defensive prowess, something along the lines of "ya, that's all well and good, but you pay guys $500 000 to do that." Well, Rayzor's a smart cat, and that applies to Kesler too. Still no goals, buddy. Ya you forecheck hard, and backcheck harder, but now your team is 1-1 in a series against a shittier team and you still haven't scored. You've gotten robbed a few times already this series. You're taking shots from the top of the circle that go right into Pekka Rinne's chest. Fact is, YOU ARE NOT PRODUCING.
Kesler scored 41 goals in the regular season. 0 in the playoffs. Slumps happen, but this is fucking ridiculous. I'm glad you're hungry and wanna win and apparently should be named to my "All Beautiful" Team according to most broads, but you're gonna be awfully hungry in the summer golfing and thinking about next year if you don't start BURYING THE COPIOUS CHANCES YOU GET A GAME! fuck! come on, let's go here!
That's enough of this. Lapierre, Bieksa, and Luongo were my three canucks stars tonight. Maybe Raymond, too, but he, like Kesler can skate like the wind. It's expected, now go out and fucking score.
xosmlxo
You look for Waldo, while I fly down to San Jose and find Ben Ferriero so that he can put a puck past a goalie in overtime for us. Who the fuck is that guy, anyways? I heard Chris Cuthbert's jagged bottom row of teeth say his name last night maybe twice, and all of a sudden he's a hero. ON HIS BIRTHDAY?! wow, good night for him. I'm a bit surprised that the coach put him on in overtime...musta hadda hunch.
The good news for the Flyers is that none of the goals scored today were really Boucher's fault before he got yanked (again), so at least maybe he'll play good in game 2. They just flat out stunk today. It was sickening, mostly because I just hate seeing Boston do anything good on a day-to-day basis. Bastards. Also good news for Flyers fans: it was only game 1, and we all remember what happened last year. The Canucks almost pulled a "boston" this year. So go ahead, Philly. Lose the next 2. Rest up, and just put Roman Checkmanek in the pipes. Give Reg Leach a bottle of rye and put him out as your starting centre. Let Bob Clarke play with 8 fingers. You'll be fine. Just start the regular lineup in game 4, make sure Claude Giroux scores a timely goal, and let history repeat itself. It's just that easy for y'all.
If I could find a similarity in the game between the Canucks and Predators (boooooo fuck you Nashville), and in the game between the Capitals and Lightning it was this: that one team had the upperhand for most of the game, until a shitty flukey goal turned the tides and swung in favour of a lesser team. I don't think Washington will have that difficult of a time stepping up in game 2 and taking it. And I kind of hope that they do win badly, so that I can hear more audio of Lightning head coach Guy Boucher. Dude is HILARIOUS! And smart, too. Deliberately saying that his team is underdogs, which a smirk hidden behind a dead serious face and a dead serious scar on his cheek (how can I get me one of those?). It's probably pissing Bruce Budreau right off, not that that's a monumental feat or anything.
Okay, the quick blurbs on the other series are over, now time to talk Canucks. Yay! Another relatively boring game! woooo! at least we had overtime to liven us up tonight, eh? Even if the play is overtime is congested and boring, the fact that it's overtime makes our boners perk up a bit, doesn't it people? So, the critics were right, and Nashville did play better today (obviously, they won...), but I didn't think they played WAY better. I thought it was more a case of the Canucks not being able to bury their numerous chances, personally. ya, Pekkerhead Rinne made some beautiful saves, and some solid positional ones too, but really. I think you're all thinking what I'm thinking.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU DANIELS AND HENRIK SEDIN! I'm officially tired of this, or, as Youtube Sensation "Tourette's Guy" puts it, "I'M SICK N TIRED OF THIS CHICKEN SHIT BULLSHIT!" Seriously, when's it gonna end?!? I realize that they are most effective in the cycle game, and they're masters of getting good body position along the boards, and masters of threading the needle for jaw dropping passes. And they've been doing that here and there in the playoffs. But, again, stats don't lie. Henrik lead the league in points last year, and his brother did this year, therefore, by using simple logic, they should lead the playoffs in scoring. right? That's what's expected of them, in my eyes. I expect them to get a few points a night, because that's what happens almost everytime they play. Hasn't happened in the playoffs. I've heard all the excuses, that they're hurt, that they're weak on the puck (true), that they lack tenacity (true), that they aren't good defensively (true), but not I'm just tired of hearing the damn excuses. Time to sack up, Twins. You don't wanna fucking lose to Nashville, do you?
Sad thing is, it's very much a possibility now. By not capitalizing on their chances (GO TOP CHEDS WHEN THE GOALIE IS HAVING A SEIZURE ON HIS BACK!!!), they've let a less talented team back in the series. Let them back in so they can sneak 3 more goals behind our excellent goalie (ya, that was his fault on the first one, but physical mistakes happen sometimes) and they could squeak out 3 more wins. Just get that first one Joel Ward, Matt Halischuk, Steve Sullivan or any other no-name foot soldier, that you could very well punch your ticket to the conference final, and we in Vancouver can...idunno, don't even want to think about it.
Fuck it, while I'm at it, enough of praising Ryan Kesler for how hard he checks. I heard Ray Ferraro say on the radio during the Chicago series, while speaking about Johnathan Toews defensive prowess, something along the lines of "ya, that's all well and good, but you pay guys $500 000 to do that." Well, Rayzor's a smart cat, and that applies to Kesler too. Still no goals, buddy. Ya you forecheck hard, and backcheck harder, but now your team is 1-1 in a series against a shittier team and you still haven't scored. You've gotten robbed a few times already this series. You're taking shots from the top of the circle that go right into Pekka Rinne's chest. Fact is, YOU ARE NOT PRODUCING.
Kesler scored 41 goals in the regular season. 0 in the playoffs. Slumps happen, but this is fucking ridiculous. I'm glad you're hungry and wanna win and apparently should be named to my "All Beautiful" Team according to most broads, but you're gonna be awfully hungry in the summer golfing and thinking about next year if you don't start BURYING THE COPIOUS CHANCES YOU GET A GAME! fuck! come on, let's go here!
That's enough of this. Lapierre, Bieksa, and Luongo were my three canucks stars tonight. Maybe Raymond, too, but he, like Kesler can skate like the wind. It's expected, now go out and fucking score.
xosmlxo
Thursday, 28 April 2011
zzzzzzzzzzzz.....
HUH!? WHAT!? oh God, I'm so sorry, I totally just dozed off and almost forgot to write this blog. I'll do the blog, though, don't worry. Just gimme a sec here to sorta snap out of it.
Okay. Good. Thanks for your patience. I thought the Canucks played pretty poorly tonight. The puck was bouncing all over the place, their passes seemed a few inches off almost all the time, and the game just lacked emotion. I guess, if I'm comparing it to the heart-attackfest that was 2 nights ago, there was 0 emotion, but for a regular game, there was still very little umpph to the game. It was just a strange game with no flow. Really weird. Even the goal was weird. Nice shot by Higgins, but mass confusion after he went bar-down. By that point, I was so sunken into my seat with boredom that I didn't even scream. No fistpumps. No looks to the heavens (as if God is blessing ME with a Canucks goal, that's a funny thought. Read Andre Agassi's book. I'm like Michael Chang). There was a CLIPPING penalty in the game. That was weird, and also probably the most exciting part of the game. Seriously, how can you call that when the guy he hit is 5'8" and 290lbs of pure Inuk brute force? It's pretty much impossible to get low enough to clip him....but, remember what I said in a previous blog, never listen to me when I say the word "pretty much"...
Lucky for all of us here in the Lower Mainland and for all of Canucks Nation (that exists now, didn't you know?), we got away with one. That's the wrong term to use, because it's not like we were outplayed. We just were given a "gimme", as they say in drunken-or-amateur-or-definitely-both golfing. We didn't show up today, but we're up 1-0. Fuck it, I'll take what I can get, and I'm sure if you're a Canucks fan you will too.
Nashville was AWFUL tonight. Not quite as bad as the Canucks in games 4 and 5 of last series (forever the "measuring stick" of poor playoff performances for the remainder of time), but just lifeless. I think they, like us, have to really take some time tomorrow and get their heads into the series. Start playing with a purpose again. The last round is over, and now there's a new story to write. I hope Grapes was right when he said the next game will be 10 times better and more intense.
Speaking of Grapes, I thought he was probably the most entertaining piece of the broadcast tonight. How the fuck did he pick all 3 of Boston's overtime heroes?! who does that!!?? Seriously, in all my years of watching playoff hockey, I always pick a guy from each team to score in overtime, and I don't think I've ever been right. He goes 3 for 3 in a series. There's something not human about that old timer, and boy oh boy I tell ya, ya gotta love Grapes! O. Kay! Who do we got next here ohhh right Dougie Gilmour, my buddy, Kingston Ontario....Okay, Leyzer: Grapes impression only good when spoken to a crowd of hockey fans. The written word doesn't do it justice.
Our moods from the game were similar tonight, me and him. I caught myself laughing at just how BORING it was, and he was cracking jokes left, right and centre about guys falling asleep. Let's face it, Canucks fans, we got spoiled this week....We're not gonna top that this year, unless...well you know.
I do think that you're gonna see a goalie duel this series. I think Luongo is really loose now, and a loose Lui isn't something to fuck with. Even if a soft one goes in on him, I think he bounces back. He won me over after game 7.
I'm still waiting, Hank and Danny.....cam annnnnn...when are you two nice men gonna get mean and start embarrassing the other team??? Hank showed a little flash and dash and ooh and awe tonight, so maybe it'll be Saturday when they arrive.
Man! seriously, that game SUCKKKKKED. Yikes. What else happened? OH YA! hhaha.
couple things not hockey related:
1. Okay, does Frank D'Angelo or whatever the fuck his name is make your skin crawl, too? That dude is all kinds of scary-looking. I hate him, and I don't even know who he is! Is he endorsing a line of motorcycles or energy drinks? What is that?!! ugh, I don't even want to keep talking about him because his devilish grin and centre-part in his hair are going to make me lose sleep tonight. and DON'T wish me good luck, Frank, okay? I don't need luck, and I don't believe in luck. Seriously, I don't. No such thing, in my opinion. But I certainly don't need some random dude who's important enough to attach his full name to an ad about something to wish anything for me. Fuck Frank D'Angelo and the horse he rode in on.
2. That ad for The Keg that they play on Hockey Night in Canada is strange as fuck too. What's with all the lady-teeth? That's all I see in that commercial. Funny thing is, I have this thing where I'm attracted to women with big teeth (note: teenage girl-on-Justin Beiberesque love affair with Jennifer Heil and also a brief stint as a child of wanting to do something sexual with Nancy Kerrigan...don't think I knew what sex was when I was feeling what I was feeling, but I wanted something. Probably kisses), so you'd think I'd be into this ad. NOPE! I think its gross because the broad's in it all look like they're wearing dentures or something. They're not even hot in the first place, but there's bad lighting on their teeth that just make the screen blind me. No wonder I'm putting visine in my eyes everynight! they're burned! Those chicks would have pink teeth from the belinis or whatever the fuck they're drinking anyways. probably some steak spice caught in their teeth, too. and one would smell like B.O. I don't even know what's going on in the ad, I just see teeth and average-looking women disguised as hot, successful females. I like my women like I like my moguls skiiers, looking just like Jennifer Heil...ohhh yaaaaa.
Well, I'm hittin' the road tomorrow, bright n early, gotta pay the bills. It'll be nice to see the sunrise on the highway though. that's 1 for the Canucks, just three more to go. I'd say "good job, boys" or "fuckin eh rights, fellas", but I wouldn't be meaning it, so I won't. Pretty blahhh effort, but a win is a win is a win.
I will miss PK Subban until October. He's a treat. Drew Doughty, too. same with Richardson and Clifford also from LA. Look forward to seeing Sid and Malkin back next year too. Pittsburgh might be a beast next year. I will also miss Nathan Gerbe and Tyler Ennis, the Buffalo Dwarves. Solid effort, boys. Oh, and I will miss when Cammalleri scores and is all business. Who can do that after they score a big goal like he did in game 6? I'd be headbutting the glass til I got sent to the quiet room.
Goodnight, Sexmachines.
xosmlxo
Okay. Good. Thanks for your patience. I thought the Canucks played pretty poorly tonight. The puck was bouncing all over the place, their passes seemed a few inches off almost all the time, and the game just lacked emotion. I guess, if I'm comparing it to the heart-attackfest that was 2 nights ago, there was 0 emotion, but for a regular game, there was still very little umpph to the game. It was just a strange game with no flow. Really weird. Even the goal was weird. Nice shot by Higgins, but mass confusion after he went bar-down. By that point, I was so sunken into my seat with boredom that I didn't even scream. No fistpumps. No looks to the heavens (as if God is blessing ME with a Canucks goal, that's a funny thought. Read Andre Agassi's book. I'm like Michael Chang). There was a CLIPPING penalty in the game. That was weird, and also probably the most exciting part of the game. Seriously, how can you call that when the guy he hit is 5'8" and 290lbs of pure Inuk brute force? It's pretty much impossible to get low enough to clip him....but, remember what I said in a previous blog, never listen to me when I say the word "pretty much"...
Lucky for all of us here in the Lower Mainland and for all of Canucks Nation (that exists now, didn't you know?), we got away with one. That's the wrong term to use, because it's not like we were outplayed. We just were given a "gimme", as they say in drunken-or-amateur-or-definitely-both golfing. We didn't show up today, but we're up 1-0. Fuck it, I'll take what I can get, and I'm sure if you're a Canucks fan you will too.
Nashville was AWFUL tonight. Not quite as bad as the Canucks in games 4 and 5 of last series (forever the "measuring stick" of poor playoff performances for the remainder of time), but just lifeless. I think they, like us, have to really take some time tomorrow and get their heads into the series. Start playing with a purpose again. The last round is over, and now there's a new story to write. I hope Grapes was right when he said the next game will be 10 times better and more intense.
Speaking of Grapes, I thought he was probably the most entertaining piece of the broadcast tonight. How the fuck did he pick all 3 of Boston's overtime heroes?! who does that!!?? Seriously, in all my years of watching playoff hockey, I always pick a guy from each team to score in overtime, and I don't think I've ever been right. He goes 3 for 3 in a series. There's something not human about that old timer, and boy oh boy I tell ya, ya gotta love Grapes! O. Kay! Who do we got next here ohhh right Dougie Gilmour, my buddy, Kingston Ontario....Okay, Leyzer: Grapes impression only good when spoken to a crowd of hockey fans. The written word doesn't do it justice.
Our moods from the game were similar tonight, me and him. I caught myself laughing at just how BORING it was, and he was cracking jokes left, right and centre about guys falling asleep. Let's face it, Canucks fans, we got spoiled this week....We're not gonna top that this year, unless...well you know.
I do think that you're gonna see a goalie duel this series. I think Luongo is really loose now, and a loose Lui isn't something to fuck with. Even if a soft one goes in on him, I think he bounces back. He won me over after game 7.
I'm still waiting, Hank and Danny.....cam annnnnn...when are you two nice men gonna get mean and start embarrassing the other team??? Hank showed a little flash and dash and ooh and awe tonight, so maybe it'll be Saturday when they arrive.
Man! seriously, that game SUCKKKKKED. Yikes. What else happened? OH YA! hhaha.
couple things not hockey related:
1. Okay, does Frank D'Angelo or whatever the fuck his name is make your skin crawl, too? That dude is all kinds of scary-looking. I hate him, and I don't even know who he is! Is he endorsing a line of motorcycles or energy drinks? What is that?!! ugh, I don't even want to keep talking about him because his devilish grin and centre-part in his hair are going to make me lose sleep tonight. and DON'T wish me good luck, Frank, okay? I don't need luck, and I don't believe in luck. Seriously, I don't. No such thing, in my opinion. But I certainly don't need some random dude who's important enough to attach his full name to an ad about something to wish anything for me. Fuck Frank D'Angelo and the horse he rode in on.
2. That ad for The Keg that they play on Hockey Night in Canada is strange as fuck too. What's with all the lady-teeth? That's all I see in that commercial. Funny thing is, I have this thing where I'm attracted to women with big teeth (note: teenage girl-on-Justin Beiberesque love affair with Jennifer Heil and also a brief stint as a child of wanting to do something sexual with Nancy Kerrigan...don't think I knew what sex was when I was feeling what I was feeling, but I wanted something. Probably kisses), so you'd think I'd be into this ad. NOPE! I think its gross because the broad's in it all look like they're wearing dentures or something. They're not even hot in the first place, but there's bad lighting on their teeth that just make the screen blind me. No wonder I'm putting visine in my eyes everynight! they're burned! Those chicks would have pink teeth from the belinis or whatever the fuck they're drinking anyways. probably some steak spice caught in their teeth, too. and one would smell like B.O. I don't even know what's going on in the ad, I just see teeth and average-looking women disguised as hot, successful females. I like my women like I like my moguls skiiers, looking just like Jennifer Heil...ohhh yaaaaa.
Well, I'm hittin' the road tomorrow, bright n early, gotta pay the bills. It'll be nice to see the sunrise on the highway though. that's 1 for the Canucks, just three more to go. I'd say "good job, boys" or "fuckin eh rights, fellas", but I wouldn't be meaning it, so I won't. Pretty blahhh effort, but a win is a win is a win.
I will miss PK Subban until October. He's a treat. Drew Doughty, too. same with Richardson and Clifford also from LA. Look forward to seeing Sid and Malkin back next year too. Pittsburgh might be a beast next year. I will also miss Nathan Gerbe and Tyler Ennis, the Buffalo Dwarves. Solid effort, boys. Oh, and I will miss when Cammalleri scores and is all business. Who can do that after they score a big goal like he did in game 6? I'd be headbutting the glass til I got sent to the quiet room.
Goodnight, Sexmachines.
xosmlxo
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
round. 2.......FIGHT!
Coughup Hairballs,
What beauties you are. The above picture has multiple meanings...fuck, sometimes it scares me how deep I am. Always with the mystery, Leyzer. No one can ever pin me down. Just when you think i've curled up into a little ball of wimp and introversion, I decide to write this world-changing blog, and fuck up everyone's shit. Give them something to enjoy, critque, masturbate to, be embarrassed about, tell their friends about and enjoy! Did I say that already? Yup. Repetition is okay sometimes. practise makes perfect. Remember that if you wanna fucking do something with your life.
What was I talking about? oh ya. Myself. Just when you think I'm gonna - well, you get the point. I pride myself on my unpredictability. A riddle wrapped in a sweaty Canucks T-shirt, I am. A puzzle between 2 thick eyebrows that were once one. I could go on and on and on, and really, I'd like to sit here and write about myself, my inner most feelings and desires (you know who you are ;)), but alas...
The 1st round of the playoffs is officially OVER! and not without it's drama! Shit was fucktup, right? All the crazy calls and non-calls, teams blowing massive leads, goalies playing absolutely awful, teams playing absolutely awful (will we ever forget games 4 and 5, Vancouver...I fucking hope we don't.), likely heroes, unlikely heroes. It's always a shitshow in the 1st round. And that's what I fucking love about it. Any huge surprises in the matchups? Not really, no. In the East, seeds 1,2,3 and 5 advance. In the west...same fucking thing. And really, those 4 vs 5 matchups are almost always a toss up. So no Cinderella coming in the backdoor this year. a powerhouse is gonna win the stanley cup. an organization that has everything going as planned at the moment. I don't even want to begin to predict who's gonna take this muth...
But I'll give it a go. I'm a gamer, ladies and fuckfaces. I'd throw anyone under the bus to be great. My best friend. Pfffft, I have no best friends when it comes to playoffs. My TV is all that matters. And Ray Ferraro. I will push myself a million miles beyond the limit to give a prediction that is wise. If I don't, then who am I? Just a handsome devil wasting a bunch of fingerstrength on his keyboard when I could be opening pickle jars for old ladies.
Here.
We.
GOOOOO!
DETROIT vs SAN JOSE
I have a really strong feeling for this one. I gotta take the Wings. Marshall Mathers is from Detroit (as mentioned in prior blogs, I believe) and he pumps me the fuck up and makes my inner fuck up wanna take back what I fucked up. Kid Rock is from Detroit, and he reminds me "White is not Right" as previously thought by our ancestors. Although....He did make me laugh a lot in "Joe Dirt"...but, he made everyone in the WHOLE WORLD laugh in that movie! Cuz it's a fucking masterpiece! More important than these 2 pieces of trash though...Ryan Kesler is from a suburb of Detroit, and he just might be my favourite player of all time when this things all said and done.
Plus, when actually looking at the series, Detroit was so solid against Phoenix (I know I know...it's Phoenix), Pavel Datsyuk won one game by himself. and he didn't have to win the other three in pretty convincing fashion, because he had...let's go down the list here: Lidstrom, Holmstrom, Fransen (whoooo's Franzen?), Cleary, HELM, Abdelkader, Kronwall, Rafalski, and good ol' Kris Draper for a few shifts carrying the weight. Who he didn't have? Henrik Zetterberg. He's Datsyuk with a perma-beauty beard. Who he WILL have in this round? Henrik Zetterberg.
The Sharks have been a mess so far. Sure, they beat a young, tough, fiesty team in LA, but with such inconsistency!!! Yikes. You never know what team's gonna show up. They are deep upfront, but their lack of D would have me shitting in my bedsheets at night if I was Todd McClellan or Neil Young. Neil Young probably does shit his bedsheets regularly. Their best defenseman, Olympic gold medallist Dan Boyle has been a huge smelly piece of turd this playoffs. What is wrong with him? he's won everything already, shouldn't it be as easy as just going out there and executing? I thought hockey players weren't human beings!!!!
It could be a long series, but I'm gonna bet against that. Wings in 5ive.
everay budday get up, sing atttt 1 2 3 4! 5ive'll make ya get down, yaaaaa get on down. uh.
VANCOUVER vs. NASHVILLE
I'm still abuzz from last night. But I'm also objective. I'm reasonable. Unpredictable and reasonable. That's me. I did a blurb on this match up last night. We're even steven in net. 2 Vezina candidates, both have been great in the playoffs and both have probably thought about being a librarian in Elbow, Saskatchewan, where people would still probably recognize them and subsequently ridicule them. Probably start their combine on fire.
Both teams are VERY solid on Defense. I'm glad Sami Salo got injured in that last series, because Ballard was actually really good last night, and now I don't have to wonder everytime Salo hits the ice when he's going to spontaneously combust. It's just one less thing to worry about. Welcome back to Vancouver, Shane O'Brien. You're gonna have fun here. I still like you. You're charismatic. and a damn good depth defenseman in my opinion. Feel free to spend alot of your time here not in The Roxy, but beside the Green Men. I'm sure you will.
So, upfront we SHOULD dominate these fucking nobodies. If, If, If. If Hank and Dank get going....ohhhh boy, look the fuck out world. I think they're being too cute at the moment, looking for the perfect opportunity. Just not grimey enough. If Kesler plays like his life depends on it like last game, and his linemates play their best hockey as Canucks too. fuck, I could go on forever, but can we not all agree that everyone but Henrik and Daniel played their best games as Canucks at forward last night?
We should have the edge there, we should win this series. I'm not picking a sweep this time though. NUX IN SIX!!
TAMPA BAY vs. WASHINGTON
Washington powered through their first round. Tampa came roaring back to win theirs. Idunno?!!? My gut is telling me that Washington's gonna win. They both have the big offensive guns up front, great depth (Tampa really showed theirs this round. I was unaware of it until now), and both teams are getting stellar goaltending. It's a tossup, really. Let's give it to Ovie and the boys, see if they can make a run 1 year too late. The longer I can watch Ovechkin play, the better.
Caps in 7
BOSTON vs PHILADELPHIA
First off, Fuck you Boston for taking out the Habs. I hated you before that, I've hated you since I was a wee lad, and I still hate you. I laughed when you lost to the Flyers last year, and I HOPE you go up 3-0 again this year, and the Flyers come back and spank you. The only thing is, I don't think it's going that far this year. I just like Philly in this one. They have that resilience to them. Like they're never out of any game. Pronger's getting healthier every game.
But what if Philly's revolving door falls apart? I think that's the only question. You know Timmy Thomas will be game.
Philly in 5 IF their goaltending doesn't fuck it up for them.
There we have it, All. My picks for this round.
Quick note about last night: I deeply regret not going downtown after the game last night. I hear it was magic. Win this round, Canucks, so I can enjoy it. I might even make a public appearance downtown to watch a series clincher if there is one. I hope there is. I BELIEVE!!!! AND YOU SHOULD TOO! GET ON THE BANDWAGON OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!! WOOOOOO!
this is gonna be fun.
xosmlxo
What beauties you are. The above picture has multiple meanings...fuck, sometimes it scares me how deep I am. Always with the mystery, Leyzer. No one can ever pin me down. Just when you think i've curled up into a little ball of wimp and introversion, I decide to write this world-changing blog, and fuck up everyone's shit. Give them something to enjoy, critque, masturbate to, be embarrassed about, tell their friends about and enjoy! Did I say that already? Yup. Repetition is okay sometimes. practise makes perfect. Remember that if you wanna fucking do something with your life.
What was I talking about? oh ya. Myself. Just when you think I'm gonna - well, you get the point. I pride myself on my unpredictability. A riddle wrapped in a sweaty Canucks T-shirt, I am. A puzzle between 2 thick eyebrows that were once one. I could go on and on and on, and really, I'd like to sit here and write about myself, my inner most feelings and desires (you know who you are ;)), but alas...
The 1st round of the playoffs is officially OVER! and not without it's drama! Shit was fucktup, right? All the crazy calls and non-calls, teams blowing massive leads, goalies playing absolutely awful, teams playing absolutely awful (will we ever forget games 4 and 5, Vancouver...I fucking hope we don't.), likely heroes, unlikely heroes. It's always a shitshow in the 1st round. And that's what I fucking love about it. Any huge surprises in the matchups? Not really, no. In the East, seeds 1,2,3 and 5 advance. In the west...same fucking thing. And really, those 4 vs 5 matchups are almost always a toss up. So no Cinderella coming in the backdoor this year. a powerhouse is gonna win the stanley cup. an organization that has everything going as planned at the moment. I don't even want to begin to predict who's gonna take this muth...
But I'll give it a go. I'm a gamer, ladies and fuckfaces. I'd throw anyone under the bus to be great. My best friend. Pfffft, I have no best friends when it comes to playoffs. My TV is all that matters. And Ray Ferraro. I will push myself a million miles beyond the limit to give a prediction that is wise. If I don't, then who am I? Just a handsome devil wasting a bunch of fingerstrength on his keyboard when I could be opening pickle jars for old ladies.
Here.
We.
GOOOOO!
DETROIT vs SAN JOSE
I have a really strong feeling for this one. I gotta take the Wings. Marshall Mathers is from Detroit (as mentioned in prior blogs, I believe) and he pumps me the fuck up and makes my inner fuck up wanna take back what I fucked up. Kid Rock is from Detroit, and he reminds me "White is not Right" as previously thought by our ancestors. Although....He did make me laugh a lot in "Joe Dirt"...but, he made everyone in the WHOLE WORLD laugh in that movie! Cuz it's a fucking masterpiece! More important than these 2 pieces of trash though...Ryan Kesler is from a suburb of Detroit, and he just might be my favourite player of all time when this things all said and done.
Plus, when actually looking at the series, Detroit was so solid against Phoenix (I know I know...it's Phoenix), Pavel Datsyuk won one game by himself. and he didn't have to win the other three in pretty convincing fashion, because he had...let's go down the list here: Lidstrom, Holmstrom, Fransen (whoooo's Franzen?), Cleary, HELM, Abdelkader, Kronwall, Rafalski, and good ol' Kris Draper for a few shifts carrying the weight. Who he didn't have? Henrik Zetterberg. He's Datsyuk with a perma-beauty beard. Who he WILL have in this round? Henrik Zetterberg.
The Sharks have been a mess so far. Sure, they beat a young, tough, fiesty team in LA, but with such inconsistency!!! Yikes. You never know what team's gonna show up. They are deep upfront, but their lack of D would have me shitting in my bedsheets at night if I was Todd McClellan or Neil Young. Neil Young probably does shit his bedsheets regularly. Their best defenseman, Olympic gold medallist Dan Boyle has been a huge smelly piece of turd this playoffs. What is wrong with him? he's won everything already, shouldn't it be as easy as just going out there and executing? I thought hockey players weren't human beings!!!!
It could be a long series, but I'm gonna bet against that. Wings in 5ive.
everay budday get up, sing atttt 1 2 3 4! 5ive'll make ya get down, yaaaaa get on down. uh.
VANCOUVER vs. NASHVILLE
I'm still abuzz from last night. But I'm also objective. I'm reasonable. Unpredictable and reasonable. That's me. I did a blurb on this match up last night. We're even steven in net. 2 Vezina candidates, both have been great in the playoffs and both have probably thought about being a librarian in Elbow, Saskatchewan, where people would still probably recognize them and subsequently ridicule them. Probably start their combine on fire.
Both teams are VERY solid on Defense. I'm glad Sami Salo got injured in that last series, because Ballard was actually really good last night, and now I don't have to wonder everytime Salo hits the ice when he's going to spontaneously combust. It's just one less thing to worry about. Welcome back to Vancouver, Shane O'Brien. You're gonna have fun here. I still like you. You're charismatic. and a damn good depth defenseman in my opinion. Feel free to spend alot of your time here not in The Roxy, but beside the Green Men. I'm sure you will.
So, upfront we SHOULD dominate these fucking nobodies. If, If, If. If Hank and Dank get going....ohhhh boy, look the fuck out world. I think they're being too cute at the moment, looking for the perfect opportunity. Just not grimey enough. If Kesler plays like his life depends on it like last game, and his linemates play their best hockey as Canucks too. fuck, I could go on forever, but can we not all agree that everyone but Henrik and Daniel played their best games as Canucks at forward last night?
We should have the edge there, we should win this series. I'm not picking a sweep this time though. NUX IN SIX!!
TAMPA BAY vs. WASHINGTON
Washington powered through their first round. Tampa came roaring back to win theirs. Idunno?!!? My gut is telling me that Washington's gonna win. They both have the big offensive guns up front, great depth (Tampa really showed theirs this round. I was unaware of it until now), and both teams are getting stellar goaltending. It's a tossup, really. Let's give it to Ovie and the boys, see if they can make a run 1 year too late. The longer I can watch Ovechkin play, the better.
Caps in 7
BOSTON vs PHILADELPHIA
First off, Fuck you Boston for taking out the Habs. I hated you before that, I've hated you since I was a wee lad, and I still hate you. I laughed when you lost to the Flyers last year, and I HOPE you go up 3-0 again this year, and the Flyers come back and spank you. The only thing is, I don't think it's going that far this year. I just like Philly in this one. They have that resilience to them. Like they're never out of any game. Pronger's getting healthier every game.
But what if Philly's revolving door falls apart? I think that's the only question. You know Timmy Thomas will be game.
Philly in 5 IF their goaltending doesn't fuck it up for them.
There we have it, All. My picks for this round.
Quick note about last night: I deeply regret not going downtown after the game last night. I hear it was magic. Win this round, Canucks, so I can enjoy it. I might even make a public appearance downtown to watch a series clincher if there is one. I hope there is. I BELIEVE!!!! AND YOU SHOULD TOO! GET ON THE BANDWAGON OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!! WOOOOOO!
this is gonna be fun.
xosmlxo
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
good things come in 3's.
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd BREATHE, Canuckleheads!,
How fucking beautiful was that? That was special. Period. Philly just beating the snot out of Buffalo....kidding.
What I really wanna write about is Montreal getting it DONE ON HOME Ice......no, I don't really but I hope they win tomorrow. Do you love Michael Cammalleri as much as I?
.....
CANUCKS WIN GAME SEVEN! IN OVERTIME! THE DRAGON IS SLAYED! HAWKS SAWK HAWKS (that's Flin Flon talk for "fuck you Chicago")
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What is it with overtime, series clinching goals that makes people really fucking horny?! What is that?! I'm sure there's chemical and biological reasons that I'm not really concerned about, I just find it fascinating! Once I left the Canuck Kingdom (what i'm calling the house where i've been watching the playoffs), walking through the misty night, listening to car honking and cheering from all over the city, all I could think about was sex. Well, that's not true. I'd go from sex, to the goal briefly, and back to sex. So, a proposition for my loyal followers: Find me a playoff girlfriend. I certainly don't want to go to the trouble of courting a woman, and having to go through all the pleasantries that happen before you fall in love. Let's just me and this hypothetical girlfriend use our mutual love of the Canucks to by-pass all of that garbage that we hate, and move straight into celebration sex. I don't have time, so my loyal followers must do the work.
She Must Be:1. hot
2. over the age of 18
3. under the age of....oh fuck that.
4. an enthusiastic Canucks fan.
That is all that is required. Oh wait.
5. must be reasonably intelligent.
So there you have it, loyal followers: A challenge for you while we gear up to meet the Nashville Predators...and yes, a Carrie Underwood lookalike will suffice for the above mentioned girlfriend. I suppose...
So.
To be,
or not to be.
That is the question.
Right? good things come in 3's. Or good drama, rather. the ultimate question. the meaning of life, in three parts. For all of you that have never read that quote before (i would imagine there are a few out there), I'll give it to you in hockey terms: "You want the puck on your stick, you don't want the puck on your stick. That's what it boils down to when the series and the game goes deep"
More 3's for you. We won three, that was act 1. Chicago won 3. That was act 2. Act 3 came to Rogers arena on this beautiful Tuesday night. The 3rd act had to break the tension. I had been thinking of the number 3 all day today for some reason. The only explanation is that I was so stressed out all day by going over all the possible outcomes and ups and downs and comebacks and penalties and beatdowns on the streets in my head, and I had to leave it up to numbers and math, the universal language, to put my heart at ease. So as the number 3 is doing figure 8's around my head, I thought "Well it's gotta be Hank. Hank's gonna have a big game." He kind of stunk tonight, eh? Had the game on his stick and he dished it to the backdoor...But nevertheless, the boys bailed out their captain who's been of all series.
But, of course, numbers don't lie. 4-1 = 3. Alex Burrows's number is 14. Close enough. 3 goals were scored in the game, Burrows had 3 chances to score.
3 is the number of hairs Patrick Kane will shave off his face this evening.
3rd time's a charm for Vancouver to slay their dragon.
Doesn't it feel fucking good, people? Yes, it does! It's relieving. It's inspiring. Those guys saw no other option tonight than a W. That was the only thing that was happening. Didn't you know after taking one look at Luongo during "Oh Canada" that he was there? In the present, ghosts and goblins and demons and hairgel all stuffed in his locker, far far away from the ice surface.
Has a Canuck EVER wanted it as bad as Ryan Kesler tonight? Maybe Linden in 1994...MAYBE. Kesler wanted that more than anything in his life. I think he said that even in an interview, and I 100% believe him. He wanted to be.
The depth players were stellar. They generated WAY more opportunities than I expected. I thought maybe one of our trade deadline acquisitions was gonna pull through for us tonight. Nice work, there Mike Gillis.
The defense, in the words of Mike Tyson, impregnable. Hamhuis looked like he's actually won a playoff series. Bieksa is turning into a must-sign in the off season. He's a heart and soul guy you can really lean on. He's a Canuck. His blood is Blue, Green, Silver, Purple, Burgundy, Red, Orange, Yellow and Black.
Maybe the next series is the Sedins coming out party. Let's hope.
I just loved the effort tonight, man. That was a treat to be a part of, and something I'll never forget. Courage personified. Heart personified. Let us also not forget how Burrows scored that goal. I told you FUCKERS! YOU CAN'T STOP A HALF CLAP TOP CHEDS! IMPOSSIBLE! believe in that shit and kids, start doing it all the time. you'll never lose if you go top cheds, and you'll certainly never lose with a half clap.
Let's not assume we won the cup though, people. Nashville is a VERY fucking good team. They get it done without a star forward. their 3rd and 4th lines are playing like 2nd lines on any team. that's scary when you have 4 2nd lines. very balanced and playing inspired hockey. Luongo's nominated for the Vezina this year for the leagues best goalie. Guess who's gonna win it? Nashville's goalie, Pekka Rinne. (say his name like you're singing The Macarena...it's hilarious. heyyyyyy Pekka Rinne!). And if you thought Chicago's defense was unstoppable, our forwards will have fun getting through Shea Weber and Ryan Suter. the best 1, 2 punch in the NHL. The second coming of Keith and Seabrook...only bigger and meaner. Sorry to say folks, but we're in for another long series.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to listen to a lullabye. It's this song by The Fratellis, called Chelsea Dagger. It brings me to a place of Zen now. Thank you, Canucks.
xosmlxo
How fucking beautiful was that? That was special. Period. Philly just beating the snot out of Buffalo....kidding.
What I really wanna write about is Montreal getting it DONE ON HOME Ice......no, I don't really but I hope they win tomorrow. Do you love Michael Cammalleri as much as I?
.....
CANUCKS WIN GAME SEVEN! IN OVERTIME! THE DRAGON IS SLAYED! HAWKS SAWK HAWKS (that's Flin Flon talk for "fuck you Chicago")
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What is it with overtime, series clinching goals that makes people really fucking horny?! What is that?! I'm sure there's chemical and biological reasons that I'm not really concerned about, I just find it fascinating! Once I left the Canuck Kingdom (what i'm calling the house where i've been watching the playoffs), walking through the misty night, listening to car honking and cheering from all over the city, all I could think about was sex. Well, that's not true. I'd go from sex, to the goal briefly, and back to sex. So, a proposition for my loyal followers: Find me a playoff girlfriend. I certainly don't want to go to the trouble of courting a woman, and having to go through all the pleasantries that happen before you fall in love. Let's just me and this hypothetical girlfriend use our mutual love of the Canucks to by-pass all of that garbage that we hate, and move straight into celebration sex. I don't have time, so my loyal followers must do the work.
She Must Be:1. hot
2. over the age of 18
3. under the age of....oh fuck that.
4. an enthusiastic Canucks fan.
That is all that is required. Oh wait.
5. must be reasonably intelligent.
So there you have it, loyal followers: A challenge for you while we gear up to meet the Nashville Predators...and yes, a Carrie Underwood lookalike will suffice for the above mentioned girlfriend. I suppose...
So.
To be,
or not to be.
That is the question.
Right? good things come in 3's. Or good drama, rather. the ultimate question. the meaning of life, in three parts. For all of you that have never read that quote before (i would imagine there are a few out there), I'll give it to you in hockey terms: "You want the puck on your stick, you don't want the puck on your stick. That's what it boils down to when the series and the game goes deep"
More 3's for you. We won three, that was act 1. Chicago won 3. That was act 2. Act 3 came to Rogers arena on this beautiful Tuesday night. The 3rd act had to break the tension. I had been thinking of the number 3 all day today for some reason. The only explanation is that I was so stressed out all day by going over all the possible outcomes and ups and downs and comebacks and penalties and beatdowns on the streets in my head, and I had to leave it up to numbers and math, the universal language, to put my heart at ease. So as the number 3 is doing figure 8's around my head, I thought "Well it's gotta be Hank. Hank's gonna have a big game." He kind of stunk tonight, eh? Had the game on his stick and he dished it to the backdoor...But nevertheless, the boys bailed out their captain who's been of all series.
But, of course, numbers don't lie. 4-1 = 3. Alex Burrows's number is 14. Close enough. 3 goals were scored in the game, Burrows had 3 chances to score.
3 is the number of hairs Patrick Kane will shave off his face this evening.
3rd time's a charm for Vancouver to slay their dragon.
Doesn't it feel fucking good, people? Yes, it does! It's relieving. It's inspiring. Those guys saw no other option tonight than a W. That was the only thing that was happening. Didn't you know after taking one look at Luongo during "Oh Canada" that he was there? In the present, ghosts and goblins and demons and hairgel all stuffed in his locker, far far away from the ice surface.
Has a Canuck EVER wanted it as bad as Ryan Kesler tonight? Maybe Linden in 1994...MAYBE. Kesler wanted that more than anything in his life. I think he said that even in an interview, and I 100% believe him. He wanted to be.
The depth players were stellar. They generated WAY more opportunities than I expected. I thought maybe one of our trade deadline acquisitions was gonna pull through for us tonight. Nice work, there Mike Gillis.
The defense, in the words of Mike Tyson, impregnable. Hamhuis looked like he's actually won a playoff series. Bieksa is turning into a must-sign in the off season. He's a heart and soul guy you can really lean on. He's a Canuck. His blood is Blue, Green, Silver, Purple, Burgundy, Red, Orange, Yellow and Black.
Maybe the next series is the Sedins coming out party. Let's hope.
I just loved the effort tonight, man. That was a treat to be a part of, and something I'll never forget. Courage personified. Heart personified. Let us also not forget how Burrows scored that goal. I told you FUCKERS! YOU CAN'T STOP A HALF CLAP TOP CHEDS! IMPOSSIBLE! believe in that shit and kids, start doing it all the time. you'll never lose if you go top cheds, and you'll certainly never lose with a half clap.
Let's not assume we won the cup though, people. Nashville is a VERY fucking good team. They get it done without a star forward. their 3rd and 4th lines are playing like 2nd lines on any team. that's scary when you have 4 2nd lines. very balanced and playing inspired hockey. Luongo's nominated for the Vezina this year for the leagues best goalie. Guess who's gonna win it? Nashville's goalie, Pekka Rinne. (say his name like you're singing The Macarena...it's hilarious. heyyyyyy Pekka Rinne!). And if you thought Chicago's defense was unstoppable, our forwards will have fun getting through Shea Weber and Ryan Suter. the best 1, 2 punch in the NHL. The second coming of Keith and Seabrook...only bigger and meaner. Sorry to say folks, but we're in for another long series.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to listen to a lullabye. It's this song by The Fratellis, called Chelsea Dagger. It brings me to a place of Zen now. Thank you, Canucks.
xosmlxo
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