Wednesday 15 June 2011

Boston Bruins: 2011 Stanley Cup Champs

Fuck.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
It hurts so...bad.
We just had no gas left in the tank tonight. Our Defense looked exhausted. We showed flashes of offensive pressure, particularly by our top 6, (did you expect anything less, Haters?), but to no avail. It wasn't meant to be.
I feel really bad for all the players, mostly. Most of us will never know what it's like to work so hard for something, break bones for something, throw up for something, only to come up short and have to start all over again the next time the opportunity comes around again. The opportunity will come around for this group of guys, but will they be able to seize the day next time? Idunno.
Most of the core guys are under contract. We gotta sign Bieksa.
We had some fun though, didn't we? over the last 65 days?
Don't forget all the fun it was, even though we lost.
I'm emotionally out of gas from these playoffs. I can't take another day of sports for a while.
I'll be right there when the season starts again next year though, fully expecting them to win every game. Fully expecting to have fun watching when they all play well, and fully expecting to curse each players very existence when they shit the bed.
Luongo sucked in game 6, yes. But cut him some slack. As I said, this team will be back. He'll learn from his meltdown, and come back better than ever.
As much as it pains me to say this, I'm happy for Tim Thomas to hoist the Stanley Cup. talk about never giving up on a dream! Dude was in his mid-30's when he broke into the NHL! Look at him now...
Don't quit, people. Get what you want. It's yours if you want it bad enough. Tim Thomas would probably tell you that.
Our boys wanted it tonight, but Boston just wanted it a bit more.
No shame, just pride for this Canucks fan.
Thanks for reading my blog, everyone! I'm done now though. Hopefully I made you laugh, made you like hockey a bit more, and hopefully I made the games slightly more enjoyable to watch!
Gave me something to do everynight (well, almost every night). A little sense of responsibility, for which, until then, I had none.
Wonder what'll happen next year? Have a good summer, everyone. May you recover fully from the playoffs, get back to a normal routine, maybe do some things you've wanted to do for a while, and may you all still believe in the Canucks.

xosmlxo

Tuesday 14 June 2011

Tomorrow. We dine. IN HELLL!

I think that's a line from the movie "300", but I've never watched that shit before, so it's just an uneducated guess. I'm too much of a snob to watch the movie "300", although I did hear someone tell me that my playoff beard looks like Gerard Butler's beard in that flick, so I'll take that as a compliment thank you very much.
Tomorrow is the last game of the 2011 Stanley Cup playoffs.
I'm curious as to what will happen after tomorrow. Like a week after. I remember after the Olympics were over, people were some kinda fucked up. I didn't stop drinking until about a month after Sid beat Miller shortside. I also wondered if I had done permanent damage to my vocal chords, because I couldn't speak in full volume for, ohhhh, about 2 weeks after. People were breaking up with their lovers, running out of town, freaking out about maxed credit cards, and re-living the Olympic experience just to stay sane for the months that followed. What the hell is going to happen in Vancouver?! The Olympics was 16 days, this has been over 60 days of some of the most dramatic theatre a fan could ask for. Fuck, it's been too dramatic, who am I kidding? Wouldn't it have been nice to just go 16-0, 4 sweeps, and hoists the grail? Easier on the ulcers, that's for sure. Is there gonna be a massive hangover, though? I'm a bit nervous for that. I don't wanna wake up with a Mike Tyson tattoo on my face, although I am thinking of shaving my head. What grand post-playoff goals are you setting for yourself? I have about 10 of them, and am banking on what the Canucks have taught me about perseverance, relentlessness, courage, and heart to ensure that I accomplish all of them.
I hope Raffi Torres injures Johnny Boychuk tomorrow.
Imagine the possibilities for tomorrow! Literally ANYTHING can happen. Picture the best case scenario in your head....
Here's mine, If I was God of Hockey, I would write it this way.
The twins get 2 points each. Kesler's pain goes away and he plays with 2 good legs, just for 1 game. Lu is solid, just solid, that's all I ask.
We go into overtime. Burrows. Bow and Arrow. Cup.
Handshakes.
It probably won't happen this way, as it seems that the unlikeliest of heroes step up in game 7's. The Glass's, Tambellini's, Thornton's, Paille's.
One thing is for sure, regardless of the outcome, many grown men will weep openly tomorrow, so make sure you have kleenex around you at all times.
May you all have fun tomorrow, may you all be with loved ones tomorrow, may you cheer until your eyes pop out, may you cheer EVEN IF WE DON'T GET THE FIRST GOAL, may you cheer until the buzzer sounds.
May the Canucks win the Stanley Cup?

xosmlxo

Monday 13 June 2011

What the Crud?

 (^^best line in "The Hangover II"^^)
????????
I'm at a loss for words. How does that happen?!
This is the most unpredictable, stressful, strange, dirty hockey series I've ever seen. It's legendary, that much I can admit. People in Vancouver and in Boston will never forget this.
One city will have fond memories, the other will not.
Luongo stunk tonight. Period. Piss poor effort, from the goalie out. For those 4-plus minutes of Bruin onslaught. That was just terrible hockey by everyone. Bruins were just floating around in the slot, ready to bury loose pucks. Good thing they didn't have to, because Roberto was letting everything in that came close to him.
Should've been pulled after 2.
Apparently Mason Raymond ruptured his scrotum. Men, let's alllll just think of that for a second. I'm curious as to how useful the scrotum is. Like how far would your bare testicles dangle if it didn't exist? Anyways, his still exists, and I don't think he's about to get his berries chopped off or anything like that, but, ya, I would be a "no-go" if my sack got split open. No pressure to return, Mase.
We noticed his absence, though. didn't we? It fucks everything up. You got Hansen and Oreskovich taking shifts with the 2nd line. 2 dudes on a scoring line that can skate like the wind, but have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FINISH! Mr. Tambellini may have made a difference tonight, but, despite the ridiculous expectations people put on him, Alain Vigneault is not a psychic and can't predict how a game will turn out.
The Sedin's were the best players for us tonight. I hope Boston knows that.
I fucking hate Boston. and I hate when Luongo plays like a pile of turd. I hate that I have to wait another 42 or so hours until this fucking series is over. It's turning me into a hockey fiend. I need a fix. I'm listening to Craig Button and Steve Kouleas blab on and on and on about what went wrong in the background right now just to keep myself sane!
Do I think Vancouver will win game 7? No.
Do I think Boston will win game 7? No.
I have no reason to believe that any team will win, because this is the biggest wildcard series ever. ya, ya, The Canucks have won all the games at home. They've all been one-goal games, though, so a lucky Boston bounce could give them the cup. It's that close, when it's in Vancouver anyways.
So all there is left to do is hope, and cheer, and believe that maybe Wednesday night will be alot of fun here in Vancouver.
It's funny, because although I have no reason to believe in these manic fucking Canucks, I still do. I gave a "thumbs up" to that famous Canuck Van on the way home. No honking was done, but I shared a look with the driver that said, "we'll do it."
I hope the Canucks win.
If they don't, can one of you get a sportsfan psychologist on speed-dial for me, please?

xosmlxo

Friday 10 June 2011

DO YOU LIKE APPLES!?

Well Vancouver just got Minnie Driver's phone numbha, so howdya like them apples, Boston!
Woo!
Woo!
I'm wondering if alot of people like apples tonight.
I'm wondering if all the people that thought Corey Schneider should've started game 5 tonight do. IDIOTS! Roberto Luongo is the best goalie in Canucks history. He's one of maybe...5 goalies in the NHL that are world-class (Thomas, Lundqvist, Rinne, Price), meaning that they have the ability to put an entire team on their back, and win a game by themselves. Now Lu didn't have to do that tonight, because the boys played excellent in front of him, but he was sharp as a tack tonight. I thought it was a heroic performance, and I bet there are some young kids out there that watched him play tonight and thought "I wish that one day I could be a goalie, just like Luongo". I don't understand how a guy can face that much scrutiny and ridicule, and come up with such an effortlessly solid performance like that. It doesn't make sense to me, the way that guy can play so well after having 10's of 1000's of people calling for his head as soon as a goal goes in on him. Ya, ya, ya, he's let in a few stinkers in the Nashville series, and got lit up against Chicago and these Bruins, but you have to give him credit, and just trust that he's gonna be fine.
I don't think there's a goalie in the world that's gonna stop goals 5, 6, 7, and 8 after his team gives up in front of him. and as for game 4, well, much the same. there was no energy in front of him, and maybe he didn't have any either.
What I do think is that he brought it tonight. And that's alright with me.
I wonder if Mike Milbury likes apples, too. He called the Sedin's "Thelma and Louise" on live television. Even though Daniel and Henrik didn't get on the scoresheet, they played with a grit-level that I didn't know was possible. Gone are the days of them love-tapping along the boards. They didn't embellish hits. They hit like the rest of the boys tonight, and showed some real guts. You gotta find the footage of Daniel talking about Milbury's comments, and Corey Schneider's too. hilarious stuff. Really makes you realize how the hockey world looks at Mr. Milbury. Plus, as Daniel points out, Thelma and Louise are 2 women, so what does that say about the  guy using that comparison as an insult on live TV? Makes him sound like a pretty big idiot, if you ask me.
Vancouver beat the shit out of Boston tonight, in particular Alex Edler and the 3rd line. Is this the 3rd line's series? It was the Twins/Burrows line last series, and the Kesler, Raymond, and Higgins line the series before. The 4th line actually looked good tonight, but I was worried that I'd have to refer to Tanner Glass as "Tanner Lafayette" after he whiffed on that tasty dish from Tanev. Shit happens, Tanner. You'll bury that next time.
I'm also convinced that the reason Vancouver stunk so badly in Boston is because I hear the ice is terrible there, and it's difficult for them to play their puck-possession game without any speed. Must be it. It was too hot there for the Canucks to fly the way they know how. Like they did tonight.
Fuck, that was a gutsy effort.
Notice how exhausted Kesler looks in his interviews. Like a zombie. But for a Zombie, he flew tonight for whatever reason.
Kevin Bieksa said that Chris Tanev "may as well've played the game with a cigarette in his mouth the whole time, he was so cool". Jokes on you, non-smokers. It's clear by that comment that Kevin Bieksa think I kick ass. I think he's right.
Well, the playoffs are over next week. Either Monday or Wednesday. 1 more win for Vancouver. Unbelievable. I can't believe it's this close. I guess we'll wait, cheer til our throats fall out, and see.

xosmlxo

Wednesday 8 June 2011

yikes...

Well, I will make this short, for I must learn to not let a game that I am not actually apart of/have no control over affect me so greatly.
Stopped watching after the 4th goal, so I have no idea how it ended up. I assume unfavourable to Canucks fans, and the players, too, as I'm not hearing any honking.
I will only say this, as I remove my Canucks sweater that makes me look like a giant piece of that candy that kids throw out at halloween - candy corn, i think it's called. The Canucks look tired. Like they've collectively ran out of gas. I think this is the case because the forwards who haven't played as much seem to still be skating pretty hard, but even they look sluggish. Burrows didn't from what I saw, but there's no quit in him, or in his body.
To a man, exhaustion is written all over their faces. and their bodies too. The twins are limping around, Kesler is slow.
Feel bad for Ballard, one of those nights where nothing goes right for the guy.
If they lose this series, and the Cup, it'll be because they've got nothing left in the tank. And I could live with that. I remember a wise baseball coach of mine saying that as a team, physical mistakes will happen, but it's the mental mistakes that you must eliminate. Very true, and when your body no longer listens to your willpower, it's tough not to make physical mistakes. Can't fault the boys for pushing themselves to the limit. We must remember that they are "boys", or men, and not machines.
However, imagine what could happen if 17 000 strong are screaming their faces off in Rogers Arena on Friday? and 10's of 1000's in the streets? Might be able to distract that ravaged, exhausted body for 60 minutes.

xosmlxo

Tuesday 7 June 2011

What the hell kinda whack-ass bullshit is that?!

FOUR GAMES?!
eye for a muthafuckin eye!? NOOOOO! You got it all WRONG, NHL! again!
I mean, sure, as a fan, it's not like we lost a Sedin or Kesler for the remainder of the playoffs, but still! Gimme a break.
Ben Eager tried, with all the power he had in him, to end Daniel Sedin's season last series. One of the dirtiest, most gutless checks of all time. No suspension! and why? Because (I can't believe I'm saying this after what I wrote in my last blog) Daniel was man enough to get up and not fake like he had a broken back!
So you're suspending guys based on the damage done to the victim. Okay, then why the fuck wasn't Zdeno Chara suspended for BREAKING Max Pacioretty's NECK!!!!
In the words of legendary Vancouver Canucks sportswriter Tony Gallagher, "WAKE UPPPP, NHL!"
In the words of legendary beak-show, smooth-pimp, and all-around cool dude Jeremy Roenick, "WAKE UPPP, NHL! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"
Ya, maybe Homeboy should've been suspended. Actually, ya, he should've been. It was a late hit, and therefore dirty, so he deserved a game. but not FOUR!
The native of Souris (pronouced "Surris", not like a mouse in french) Manitoba has never been in trouble with the league before. He's never been suspended. He's a clean, working-man's stay-at-home defenseman. He collects a small paycheque in comparison to most, and he's scratched and clawed his way into the NHL. He worked his way into his coach's good books these playoffs by being dependable. One mistake that took a nanosecond, and his Stanley Cup dream is over. Bullshit.
I know, I know, so is Nathan Horton's...but don't be admiring your passes, and you won't end up on a stretcher. It takes one guy to leave himself vulnerable for an attack, and one guy to capitalize on the vulnerability. That's sports, and that's life sometimes. Let your guard down, and someone might take what you thought was yours. Gotta stay on your toes, People.
I'm officially infected by Blackhawkitis, by the way. I can see this series getting away from us. I can barely see it, and i'm fighting this crippling virus that is slowly and sneakily ravaging my body and psyche, but it's there. I can't help it.
I found myself thinking today about how I kind of want the playoffs to be over. My stress-level has been through the roof for almost 2 months now. I want it to be over, but only if we win. I want constructive activity to occupy my evenings after the playoffs are over.
Win tomorrow, Canucks. Just win.
Kesler was minus-3 yesterday. He's obviously hurt and running out of gas. that little Boner Marchand burned him like he was Aki Berg yesterday. He put the team on his back for one whole series, and he's gassed. Wonder if someone can "pull a Kesler" tomorrow and from here on out? Hopefully.
I guess Krejci and Thomas have to be mentioned in the Conn Smythe now....before I was sure it would be a Canuck winning it, now I'm not.

xosmlxo

Monday 6 June 2011

"game" 3

Leyzerville,

Well, that sucked.
That was embarrassing.
8 fucking 1.
Here's how I saw it.
first period was great. Actually really exciting. Buddy Horton got his clock cleaned, saw stars, got taken off on a stretcher and the game was ON! They're down their most clutch forward, and we're down our least-crucial D-man.
Everyone was hitting everyone. Good, clean, hard-ass hockey. Just exciting as fuck to watch.
Then, the intermission came, someone put valium in Vancouver's gatorade, and speed in Boston's, and Boston just took over.
Actually, what I saw was the same thing I saw in the Chicago series. The FAMOUS CHICAGO SERIES!!!!
Vancouver is dominating a series in every facet of the game, and someone on the Canucks that has a limited role on the team gets too aggressive on a hit, and knocks out a star for the other team. The other team responds positively to it, and the Canucks sit back and hope no one takes a run at Daniel or Henrik. So while they're sitting back with their thumbs up each others bums (and not in a good way, people), Boston decides to check their egos at the door, and do whats right for the good of their team, and the good of their fallen teammate: go out and beat them where it hurts, on the scoreboard.
And ya, why not rub it in a bit after they have a comfy lead? may as well, because they're in full control of the game now, and no one on the Canucks can do anything about it. May as well taunt Burrows with a finger in the face.
Let it also be known that I would rather have Milan Lucic's fist pound my skull into the boards than to have watched that.
As much as it pains me to say this, we really missed Aaron Rome after he got kicked out. How is it possible to miss such a replaceable defenseman, you ask? Well, it was painfully obvious that the 5 remaining D on the Canucks were gassed before the first 20 minutes was up. I seriously don't think I saw them make a clean pass out of their zone all game. Edler looked like he should be playing in St. John's next year. Ehrhoff looked like he shouldn't be signed in the off-season. Bieksa played like he was a Sedin.
Speaking of the Sedins, does anyone else find it extremely embarrassing to cheer for guys that are so damn good, but look like such cowards when they're not having a good night? They're obviously not cowards, but diving all over the ice...come on! the refs see you taking a beating in the corners all night!! if someone taps your face, they know it doesn't hurt you. There's just no place for flailing around like a beached fish after someone barely hits you. The Sedins got bitch-slapped tonight, and they looked like they liked it. NOBODY LIKES GETTING BITCH-SLAPPED! I thought...
Getting ploughed by THE GOALIE?!?! yikes...embarrassing.
They're awesome when they're awesome, and good when they're good, but man oh man are they tough to watch when their game isn't there. I can't really be insulting them too much, because they are our best players, just, just, maaan oh man, watching hockey player play like their panzies is so unappealing. come on, fellas!!
So...I guess Luongo isn't winning the Conn Smythe this year, right? I think we can all agree on that. Yup. Next topic.
everyone played terrible tonight, and maybe they're tired, and yes, teams shit the bed every now and again. It's been a long long time since the Canucks have done that. So maybe this is a "gimme".
It better be, or the ghosts of that Chicago series are gonna come-a-haunting. Only this time, we only have a 2 game cushion.
Shoulda saved Manny for that emotional boost. Brought him back if we lost one....I'm tellin ya. Smart gamesmanship....Now what do the Canucks have for collective inspiration? Boston has a fallen teammate....the Canucks have?

xosmlxo