Well Leyzerites,
We're gettin' down to the nitty gritty now, aren't we? Uh huh, yes indeedy we are. mmm mmm, more hockey is right around the corner! Starting TOMORROW!
Now there are less predictions to make, so my normally long "prediction issues" will be much shorter for the next few round. umm...obviously...I think I should just get right to it!
(3) BOSTON .vs. (5) TAMPA BAY
No one expected Tampa Bay to get as far as they have so far, at least no one with half a fucking brain. No one thought that Steve Downie, Sean Bergenheim, Teddy Purcell, Dominic Moore and Victor Hedman would be playing the way they've played so far. Sure, we expected it from St. Louis, Stamkos and Lecavalier (we expect it with Lecavalier, but are frequently disappointed with his effort. Not anymore.) They came out of nowhere and knocked off the 2 teams that Montreal knocked off last year to get to the conference final. Montreal played a big, tough powerhouse in that conference final last year - the Philadelphia Flyers. Tampa plays a big, tough powerhouse this year in the conference finals - the Boston Bruins. Are we now expecting those role players on the Lightning to play the way they've been playing night in night out ALL THE TIME? Don't be. I'm saying that the luck of the lightning is running out this round, although I wouldn't be losing any sleep if they did beat Boston in 6 game. But, I'm looking at Bruins goalie Tim Thomas, and I'm just seeing him making a bunch of game-saving stops. I'm looking at Zdeno Chara (who isn't sick anymore like he was against the Habs) and I'm seeing a huge coke-drinking Slovak with ice in his veins - He should be in a movie as a villain, like a James Bond film or something. I'm looking at their forward lines, and noticing that Milan Lucic broke out of his slump last series, and that all 4 lines are playing typical Bruins hockey - it's fast, it's tough as nails, and it results in a lot of offense. I'm gonna say the Bruins in 6, and give Tampa Bay a game for every one that Patrice Bergeron is supposed to miss this series.
Patrice Bergeron = my generation's Olympic Rob Zamuner. If you know what I'm saying, you'll laugh. If not, ah well. I see you've spent your last 15 or so years with more important things than remembering who plays on Canadian olympic teams. Good on ya, I could use some of that. Pass it down! Don't hog it all!
okay...
(1) VANCOUVER .vs. (2) SAN JOSE
The two top seeds in the west clash!!! The way it was supposed to be! That seems like it NEVER happens, eh?
These are 2 teams that are evenly matched. 2 Manic goalies. Can save the game for you, or totally blow it. Niemi seems like he's a bit more calm (okay, ALOT more calm) than Luongo, he just randomly decides to let everything past him. Yes! Do more of that, Mr. Niemi. NO MORE CUP RINGS FOR YOU, OKAY?!
Both teams are SO, SO talented up front. Fast, creative, deep. I love it. It's as star-studded a line up as Warren Beatty's headboard. you're not gonna see this much offensive ability in any other series in the NHL playoffs. It should be a beautiful sight to behold. Both teams have star forwards that have been hated on considerably by both media-types and hardcore fans alike. I hate to say it, but San Jose might have the advantage in the forward department, strictly based on their size and strength. That's just based on logic, but I think we all know that size and strength doesn't matter a whole lot in the playoffs. It's determination that'll win you the battle. So fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now, fuck the presents may as well throw them out. We're even up front.
Advantage Vancouver on the defensive front. We're deeper and more gifted. They have a number 1 defenseman in Dan Boyle, and a bunch of Suitcases. the Suitcases have exceeded exceptations, though. I mean, they've gotten this far, haven't they? Often that's the case, too. You see these Jabroni defensemen just play their sacks off for a cup (think Brent Sopel for Chicago last year) and maybe forwards just assume that they'll win that battle against the less-talented defenseman on a one-on-one or in the corner. But it's not the case, because they can't see the size of the guys heart and they can't measure will to win when they're skating that fast, so these jobbers will win battles. It's like they just hide for years, and decide that "now it's time to win".
But I'm a "Homer", so fuck those journeymen, and fuck Dan Boyle. Fuck Ian White, even if he is from Manitoba. Advantage: Bieksa and the boys.
Both teams have another strange thing in common. Both franchises are historic underachievers/failures. 0 Stanley Cups for either team. They've iced good teams in the past, only to come up not only short, but to just plain not come at all. Vancouver gets to see a Stanley Cup final game in our city once every 20 years on average. San Jose's average is once every...never. It's their 20th year of existence though, so maybe that'll be the---STOP WITH THIS SPECULATION, LEYZERSTUPID! Ugly! Fat! Ugly! Fat!
where was I?
oh. right. Another thing they have in common is they both ALMOST proved their cynical-ass fans right again this year by blowing a 3-0 series lead in a series to force game 7. Both teams got it together before it was too late.
2 EVEN EVEN EVEN teams. only 1 winner. Gotta pick Vancouver. Have to. Gotta pick em, and I gotta believe in my boys. I gotta believe this rest really helped them, I gotta believe that I'll tell my children about Ryan Kesler's 2011 playoffs someday. I gotta believe in Canucks Nation. I gotta believe "canucks is a family, so we do it for Bourdon and we do it for Manny". I gotta not believe in ghosts. I gotta believe Henrik is gonna show up, that Daniel will help him along the way, that our D will be more solid than they were last series, that Lu will stand tall, and that we'll all have a big fucking party very soon. Canucks in.....FIVE! My dick's swinging now, Sharks fans. I'm getting cocky, woooo!
Went to the movies by myself today. I spread out over the back row like a slob, and watched a Danish film called "In A Better World". Loved it. I was exhausted on the way home. Don't you love when you see a good movie, and you're just buzzing like crazy and all these tremendous feelings are channeling through your body and you just can't take it anymore so you have to lean over and catch your breath? Does that happen to anyone else? The doctor-dad in it is my new hero. Actually, the whole movie is my new hero. the best part about the movie, to me, was that it was FILLED with secrets. They all had untold stories, even the boys. that's what makes a film great, or one thing anyways. boobs, too. there were no boobs in this one, but the woman in it was SO DAMN MYSTERIOUS, TOO! man! Just go to Tinseltown and watch it. don't go watch Pirates, just watch this movie and be touched by it.
Tomorrow, a new chapter in hockey begins! Let's rock.
RIP Derek Boogaard. Sad.
xosmlxo
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