Friday Night in a Hockeytown

What's up Sweet Things?


Leyzer's back. Back again. Leyzer's back. Kiss my face.
Big night tonight in the NHL playoffs, Washington grabbed the Rangers by their sacks tonight and said "oh ya? you think so buddy? You think your mediocre, probably-shouldn't-be-playing-playoff-hockey lineup can ride a hot goalie like that Halak fucker from last year?". Then they squeezed a little harder, till nausea set in. It's my version of an almost-stranglehold. (I didn't watch the game, as I was too busy scuplting my guns, and being jealous of all the roided-up pigs in my gym to catch any of it...plus, very little of my heart is in that series, aside from the fact that I know a guy from Brooks Laich's hometown of Wawota, SK - Population: Brooks Laich's parents and my buddy - and I once played catch with Eric Fehr. We scooped him up as a free agent for our Provincial-winning baseball team (what's up Mustangs, you fillin' me?), and I was completely unaware that he was blossoming into a skinny, one-way offensive force in Junior, into a pretty fucking good two-way forward for a powerhouse in the east. I'm not fucking perfect, alright? Close...but not quite).
Looked like M.A. Fleury REALLY shat the bed tonight, too. A few softies there. I'm not one to blame everything on the goalie when a team gets spanked, but he definitely left his game hiding behind his big teeth. I don't know if you noticed, but I couldn't make it around to watching that whole game either, BUT! BUT! I had Sidney mic'd up in the press box, to gimme a play-by-play so we could really break down the game. We let Cammie Granato's brother chime in every once in a while with his input, too. Sid and I were just trying to think of a gameplan to stop the balanced scoring attack that seemed to come out of nowhere. By the end of the game, the outcome looked good for them. We came to a solution. But we're keeping it a secret.
Let me just state, for the record, that I'm a big fan of The Team 1040 in Vancouver, and all of the hosts they have from the morning show to the Pratt & Taylor show are actually really good. They have fun, they don't scream into the microphone, and they're smart, passionate glorified fans. Good work.
I don't know if Anaheim really looked THAT much better tonight, sure their big guns had a lot of points, but there were a few missed calls going Anaheim's way tonight, and a 5-on-3 that early in the game is bound to suck the giveafuck out of any team, even if Shea Weber threatens to eat their hearts if they don't come back. I think that series is going a long way, still. and I still think Nashville's taking it. They're more balanced, their Defense is as strong as a Romanian deadlift specialist, and Rinne'll bounce back after tonight.
Okay okay, no one cares about those three games because they don't tickle the hairs on your neck like the CANUCKS! BIG WIN TONIGHT, BOYS!
Alex Edler jerseys are going to go WAY up in sales as of tonight. I mean, people whispered about his potential as a rookie as being the next Matthias Ohlund, but I'm thinking he's gonna be WAY more of an impact player than ol' Long John Matthias ever was. he's Nick Kronwalling everything that moves out there! and there's more to the sport than bodychecking (wouldn't that be boring? if 10 dudes just dressed up and ran at each other for 60 minutes? it'd remind me of a party in Flin Flon when everyone's too drunk to have fun anymore),  and he's doing all that right, too. You just gotta love the kid. You HAVE TO. If you don't, I'm gonna tell your girlfriend you cheated on her...because you know all of you have. Don't fucking lie.
Ya, we got scored on this time. the first one that Smith kid was lucky he was in the right place at the right time, the second Lu couldn't see, and the third...well, Lu, you shouldn't give up rebounds like that....but you had 4 of your homeboys standing around the puck, so you're all to blame on that one. But, like me, you guys aren't perfect, either. and that's alright with me. You got the job done tonight, the Sedins are rollin' like I knew they would...Look out for Kesler next game, on his native soil. I bet he scores a couple. Have you ever seen a more focussed looking dude during "O Canada" than him? He looks like a kid during a spelling bee or something. Just dialed right in.
Here's a little surprise finger in the butt before bed (don't you lov--er--hate when that happens...ahhhh fuck...) Raffi Torres comes back from his suspension on Sunday. I feel, in my heart of heart of boners, that maybe he should sit more games out. I know he's a physical presence when he's out there, and he likes to smash guys bodies through the boards. Aren't we doing that already? LIKE CRAZY??? If there's one thing we're doing out there it's fucking those Blackhawks up physically. Doesn't that make a guy like Torres a bit redundant? It's so typically male for all of you to say "Fuck no Leyzer, put him in and let him add to the killing spree! You're ugly! You don't look like Elvis, you look like Hank Azaria!" Putting Torres in is akin to putting a deck screw in with a sledgehammer when you already have a perfectly good cordless drill in your toolbelt. Use the drill! I know we all wanna use the sledgehammer because breaking shit is fun, I get it. But there's a job to do out there and that's to SCORE MORE GOALS THAN CHICAGO! The bottom six is fine the way it was in game 1 and 2. Plus, and let this be an extremely valuable piece of advice for all your Leyzerlovers out there: never trust a guy with a soul patch. It's standard. One of life's concrete facts. Torres has one. You've been warned. And when he plays shitty in a game, it's REALLY noticeable. He looks lost. Hodgson's gonna get better every shift. So is Oreskovich. Who else are you gonna sit? Glass? No. Lapierre? No.
Speedy recovery to Samuelsson, I know Kesler misses ya, and so does our PP.
Swedish people: KEEP FUCKING! and keep making beautiful creatures like Alex Edler, Henrik Sedin and Daniel Sedin.

Peace. Sleep well. Tell someone you love them.

SML